Cesarean Awareness Month

     So it turns out that April is Cesarean Awareness Month and while the actual goal of this campaign is to reduce the number of these procedures through education, I prefer to utilize this time by simply informing other women of my experience. There are so many things about a c-section that I did not know about or expect as I was being wheeled into the operating room nine short months ago.

     As my due date approached, I found myself preparing for the most anticipated event of my thirty-four years. The birth of my son. It was not an easy road to get here, but my pregnancy had been shockingly simple. I avoided so many of the usual pitfalls of pregnancy. I was as big as a boat, but my skin was better than ever, I was still rocking my regular shoes, no ankle swelling or accidental peeing. I was good. I stopped viewing my reproductive self as a handicap and began looking toward the future with a renewed positivity that I had not felt for years. I was going to have a completely natural birth. I didn't know if I could manage without pain medicine, but I sure wanted to try.

     So I focused my preparation and researched on having a perfect, natural birth. That was my plan. I considered looking up information on c-sections, but I didn't want to jinx myself. I wasn't going to need that information. I was having a natural delivery. Well, as it turned out, aside from ending up with a baby, my birth plan was absolutely nothing like Archer's actual birth.

     He ended up being two weeks late, so I was induced and after more than a day of labor and an hour of pushing my little bean still refused to budge. With that, I joined the ranks of the c-section mommies. Looking back, I should have explored this option more. I went into the operating room with no clue what was headed my way and let me tell you, the surprises just kept on coming.

     So in honor of Cesarian Awareness Month, I would like to make the other pregos out there aware of what may be in their future as well... be it a part of the original birth plan or not.

     I guess the first thing that surprised me about having a c-section was that it was suggested at all. Even though my body was not progressing fast enough, it was progressing. At the time that my doctor wanted me to start pushing I was only 9 centimeters dilated. We waited another hour after to see if I made any more progress but I didn't, so he recommended a c-section. At the time, I was exhausted and just ready to be done with this whole situation, but looking back, I believe that if I had been allowed to wait longer I would have been able to avoid a c-section. I'm not a doctor, but I deal with insurance companies everyday and I know how the game works. Time is a factor. Money is a factor. Archer's heart rate was perfect and he was in no distress; I think we were just rushed along. But honestly, by that point I didn't even care. I just wanted to hold my baby.

     My next surprise and event that I wish I had known to expect and mentally prepare for is that your arms and legs are tied down during a cesarean section. This was unwelcome news to me because I am a tad claustrophobic and not being able to move my arms and legs taps into that anxiety and threw me into a full on panic attack in the operating room. I actually cried and forced them to loosen my arms for just long enough for me to regain my composure before allowing nurses to tighten them again. Had I known to expect this practice, I would have prepared myself prior and been fine. Well, at the very least not a raving lunatic.

     They actually do this to keep patients from putting their hands into the surgical site during the procedure which sounded insane to me until my medicine ran out while I was being closed up and I was actually grateful that I was tied down because I would one hundred percent have tried to leap off of the table and away from them had I not been restrained. I wouldn't have been able to stop myself. My guts would have been all over that floor. So I get why they do it. I just wish I had known to expect it ahead of time.

     I was also surprised that when you throw up in the operating room, which I did because I literally threw up in EVERY room that they put me in while having my baby, they don't untie you. This gives the sensation that you are going to choke on your own vomit since you are laying on your back and is exceedingly unsettling.

     The actual procedure was very similar to what I had seen on television and in movies. They put up a large sheet to block your view completely and honestly, while my medicine was working I had absolutely zero pain. In fact, I was so exhausted that I nearly fell asleep until I heard the sweet cry of my little one from behind the curtain. It was the most beautiful sound that I have ever heard in my entire life.

     After a cesarean birth, the father usually will not be asked to cut the cord, which is something that I didn't know until I lived it. You will get to see your baby right away, but you won't get to hold him for a while. My hospital was wonderful. They did allow my son and I to have skin to skin contact immediately after birth, which was very important to me and they did allow him to try nursing, but both of these things were done with a nurse holding him. For me, missing out on that time right after his birth was the worst part. You want that reward of getting to hold and snuggle and bond with your baby as soon as he is born and it feels very lonely in recovery afterward when it is just you by yourself, no husband or baby in sight. I ended up being in recovery for two hours. I will say though, it didn't feel like two hours because I fell asleep for the majority of that time.

     I was shocked at how quickly I was able to move around after surgery. The hospital will have you up and walking around your hospital room by later that same day. While just the thought of this will be terrifying, I promise you that it does not feel as bad as it sounds and the sooner you stand up straight and walk around, the faster that you will start to feel much better.

     I was also amazed by the process of going to the bathroom afterward. I had assumed that by having a c-section I would at least get to avoid that whole process. Well, it turns out that skipping a vaginal delivery does not mean that you get to skip any of the maintenance after having your baby. You are going to continue to bleed for a long, long time and you are going to get to spray bottle your bits and pieces just like the lady next to you who had a vaginal delivery. So consider yourself warned.

     Word to the wise: Take as many of the mesh panties as you can get your puffy little hands on. Just the thought of real underwear over your incision is going to make you cringe for a long, long time. Hoard that shit. You will be glad you did.

     I was shocked by how swollen my feet and ankles became in the days after I returned home from the hospital. This is a normal reaction. Just wearing flip flops and walking hurt. Try to elevate your feet as often as possible, especially when you are sleeping at night. This helps a lot.

     You are going to be very constipated for a long time after your c-section and you are going to have more people interested in what is going in and what is coming out of your body than ever before in your life. They will give you worksheets to fill out regarding your intake and your um... output that a nurse will collect every night. They will want you to measure it and identify the color of it and every other aspect of it that you could ever imagine. It will feel ridiculous, but make sure that you do it. They are trying to make sure that everything is still functioning properly in there and the last thing you want is to end up with a newborn and a serious complication all at once. Just do your worksheet and be glad for the attention. You're a mom now. This is probably the last time it is going to be all about you for a long, long time.

     You are going to be told that you can't drive for six weeks after your c-section and you are going to scoff. Listen to them. You will be amazed by how difficult even riding in a car is after surgery. Until I left the hospital, I never realized how much a person actually uses their abdominal muscles in a day. Everything becomes incredibly difficult. Especially getting up from a laying down position, which you will need to do constantly with a new baby. A step stool by the bed is incredibly helpful in these early days.

     I remember the first night that we had Archer home and he was sleeping in his crib while Jim and I were asleep in our bed a room away. The baby monitor crackled to life with Archer's tiny cries and I struggled to sit up while Jim jumped up with terror in his eyes next to me. “What can I do?” he asked, with an expression that would have been more suitable if the house was on fire. “Just help me up” I said. With that he grabbed my arm and flung me up and out of the bed. I kid you not, I looked like one of the improperly buckled babies in the car seat video they make you watch before leaving the hospital. I don't think my feet touched the ground. It was terrifying, but effective. I was up and running. Moral of the story, prepare your partner ahead of time for what help you will need. A gentle help up from bed will be necessary often since you will be physically unable to sit up on your own.

     Healing from a c-section isn't easy. I ended up with a small infection two weeks after giving birth that slowed things down a bit, but we got through it. I think that is the most important thing to remember. You will not feel “normal' for a while, but you do get through it.

     I am currently 9 months post c-section and I am still surprised by things. Currently, my incision is still numb yet it itches from time to time, which are an odd set of sensations to combine. I still get pain at my incision site, but it is mild and fleeting and from what I read, completely normal. You will have a scar, but you may not mind it as much as you expect. It is very low and most underwear and bathing suit bottoms completely cover it. Only now can I finally suck in my gut again. This is a skill I welcome back into my repertoire with open arms.

     There is a great deal of discussion surrounding cesarean births. If they are overused, probably. If they are actually a “real” birth, of course they are. But I am less concerned about that and more interested in informing other ladies out there on what to expect. I know that I would have had an easier time had I known what was in store for me and Lord knows mama's deserve anything that can make our day even a little bit easier.