#theotherdaywhileiwaspumping

     So many parts of trying to conceive are difficult. Trying not to fixate is difficult, the advice of others is difficult, forcing yourself to be excited for other people is difficult, figuring out what is wrong with you is difficult. But for me, as time passed, what I found to be the most difficult part was simply remaining hopeful. I kept up the motions of charting and temping and trying, but in my mind I struggled to keep the belief alive that someday I would actually get to see that magical pink line on a home pregnancy test. It felt like seeing a unicorn. I would imagine it, but it never seemed like a real possibility. I just couldn't picture it anymore after a while. It ceased feeling like a real option for my life.

     At times where I felt my hope slipping away I would search for stories online that I could relate to. As month after month of my own struggle ticked by, I frequently found myself searching phrases like, “success after two plus years TTC” praying that I would find something, anything to give me hope and the strength to keep trying. Stories of other women, around my age, who became pregnant without the help of expensive fertility treatments that I couldn't afford. It was slim pickings... But there were stories out there and the amount of hope that those personal accounts gave to me was immeasurable. Even when I found myself reading the same ones over and over again it gave me a reason to believe, to keep trying, to get up again tomorrow and take my temperature and start a new cycle's chart for the 30^th month in a row.

     I was someone who looked online for much of my support and I was often left disheartened by the lack of success stories out there. People tend to post until they get pregnant, but then they just disappear. I assume that they want to put the pain of infertility behind them and move on to the next adventure in their lives, but it can be difficult to be the one left behind. You never hear about what worked for them or see the long awaited happy ending for the people that you have been rooting for. In a weird way, you almost lose the hope that their success stories could have offered to you. Instead they just sort of vanish. You don't know if they are a happy mother out there somewhere or if they just gave up.

     When you are living with infertility, all you see are pregnant bellies and happy babies around you. You don't realize how many of those same families also struggled to be. Since starting this blog, I have been overwhelmed by the number of people who have shared their own stories with me and I am absolutely honored to hear about their journeys. It brings me so much joy to see the faces of their children and to know how very much they were wanted and loved before they even existed. This brings me to an exciting new feature that I have added to my blog.

     In the spirit of inspiring hope and celebrating these special little people, I have added an Instagram feed to my homepage. I encourage anyone who would like to share, to add a picture of their little one, with a caption stating how long you TTC using the hashtag, #theotherdaywhileiwaspumping. The photo will then appear both on my Instagram page as well as directly on my blog.  Share as much or as little of your journey as you like.  All methods of fertility treatments or approaches are welcome.    

     I do respectfully ask that only people who have dealt with infertility or miscarriage share their photos, however. This is not meant to exclude anyone, but is simply due to the nature of the feed. It is my hope that anyone who is currently struggling to conceive and is having a bad day can look at those images and see that success stories do happen every single day. As wonderful as a surprise baby is, or a baby conceived on a first try, it is not super comforting to someone who is struggling. Our goal is to show that after darkness comes the light and after infertility comes lots and lots of baby dust!